What happens after mediation
When family mediation reaches agreement, the mediator writes it up — normally as a Memorandum of Understanding, often alongside a parenting plan. Neither document is legally binding in itself. What happens next is either that you both simply follow the agreement, which is what most families do, or that you take it to a solicitor to be turned into a consent order.
The documents you leave with #
| Document | What it is | Binding? |
|---|---|---|
| Memorandum of Understanding | A summary of what you agreed, written by the mediator. Usually "without prejudice" | No |
| Parenting plan / Our Child's Plan | The practical detail — schedule, holidays, handovers, decisions, money | No |
| Open financial statement | Where finances were discussed: a summary of the disclosure, which can be shown to a court | Not an order |
| Consent order | A court order reflecting your agreement, applied for afterwards | Yes |
Not every mediation produces all four. Child arrangements mediation typically produces the first two.
The gap nobody warns you about #
You've just done something difficult and done it well. Two people who disagree reached an agreement, and the mediator wrote it down.
Then everyone goes home, and within a few months the plan is a PDF in an old email. Not because anyone changed their mind — because a plan is a document and life is a Tuesday. Eight months on, neither of you can remember whether the October half term was split or alternated, and the conversation has moved back to WhatsApp, where it goes the way WhatsApp conversations go.
This is the single most common failure in family mediation, and it has almost nothing to do with the quality of the agreement. What to do about it →
Do you need a consent order? #
For child arrangements, usually not. Most separated parents never get a court order for their children and don't need one. A written agreement both parents follow is the normal, and better, outcome — courts actively prefer parents to sort arrangements out themselves.
Consider one if there's a history of agreements being broken, one of you needs the certainty for a specific reason, or the arrangement involves something with legal consequence like relocation.
For finances on divorce, it's different. A financial agreement is not secure until it's embodied in a consent order. Without one, either of you can make a financial claim years later. If your mediation covered money, get legal advice about an order — this is the point where not doing so is genuinely risky.
Turning an agreement into an order means a court application, and a family law solicitor will tell you which route applies, whether you need an order at all, and what it costs. Mediators can't advise you on this; it's outside their role, and a good one will say so.
Can you change it later? #
Yes, and you will. Children's needs at four aren't their needs at eleven.
Changing an agreement: just agree the change, write it down, and date it. Put a review point in the plan itself.
Changing a consent order: either both agree and apply to vary it, or apply to the court. Slower and more expensive, which is one reason not to get an order you don't need.
If you can't agree the change: back to mediation, before court. It's faster, much cheaper, and in most cases you'll be expected to have attended a MIAM before applying to court anyway.
Making it hold #
Three things separate agreements that last from agreements that don't:
Specificity. "Reasonable contact" is not an arrangement. Clock times, named places, and holidays covered.
A dispute clause that says something. The most-skipped section in every parenting plan. "If we can't agree within seven days, we go back to mediation before either of us applies to court, and we split the cost" converts a future £4,000 problem into an afternoon.
Somewhere you'll both actually look. A plan in a PDF in an old email isn't consulted at 7am when neither of you can remember whose week it is. This is the real failure point, and it's a practical problem rather than a relationship one.
How OurPath helps #
This is the problem we built the product for. In OurPath the parenting plan isn't stored, it's run — your mediator can build it in their portal at the end of the session and propose it to both of you while you're still in the room. You accept on your phones, and you leave with a live shared calendar, agreed holiday rules and cost splits already working.
When something goes wrong later, "raise an issue" sends your mediator a structured request with the relevant records already attached — which is a returning mediation client rather than a court application.
Common questions #
Is a Memorandum of Understanding legally binding? No. It records what you agreed. It becomes binding only if it's turned into a consent order by a court.
How long does mediation take? Child arrangements commonly settle in one to three sessions after the MIAM, usually over a few weeks. It depends on how far apart you start.
What if we agreed some things but not others? Common, and still progress. The mediator records what's agreed and identifies what isn't. You can return later, or narrow any court application to the remaining issues — which is cheaper and faster than starting from everything.
Can we go back to mediation later? Yes, and it's usually the right move when something stops working. Returning to a mediator who already knows your situation is quicker than starting again.
Does the voucher scheme cover it? The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme contributes up to £500 towards mediation about child arrangements, subject to eligibility. How it works →
General information about England and Wales. Not legal advice — and specifically, whether you need a consent order is a question for a family law solicitor.