Messages that stay civil, and stay put

OurPath messaging is a single permanent thread between two separated parents. Once a message is sent it cannot be edited or deleted — by either parent, or by us. Before a heated message goes, OurPath offers a calmer way to say the same thing.

The 11pm problem #

Almost every message that makes things worse was sent in the ten minutes after something happened. Not because either parent is unreasonable — because they were angry, and the send button was right there.

When you write something that's likely to land badly, OurPath pauses and offers a rewrite. Same facts, same ask, less heat. Three buttons: use it, edit it, or send yours anyway.

It never blocks you. It never tells your co-parent that anything was flagged. If our tone service is down, your message just sends. It's a speed bump, not a gate — and in practice, a speed bump is enough.

Written once, kept forever #

Messages are append-only. There's no edit, no delete, no "unsend". Each one is timestamped by our servers — not by your phone, which you could change — and cryptographically linked to the message before it, so any tampering would be detectable.

That cuts both ways, deliberately. You can't take back a message you regret. Neither can they.

Deliberately boring #

No reactions. No typing indicators. No threaded replies. No voice notes. No in-app calling.

Every one of those is a way to have an argument about whether someone was being passive-aggressive with an emoji. This is a thread for arranging childcare, not a social network.

You'll see when a message was first opened. That's it.