Money and children's costs

Child maintenance in the UK is a formula based on the paying parent's income and how many nights a year the child stays with them. It is not a shopping list. Uniform, school trips, clubs, equipment and childcare all sit outside it, and how those are split is for the two parents to agree. That gap is where most money arguments between separated parents actually happen.

In this cluster #

Shared care and child maintenance → How overnight stays change what's paid, with the bands and what common patterns produce.

Who pays for school uniform? → The most-asked version of the extras question, answered properly.

The two-layer picture #

Almost every money question between separated parents sits in one of two layers, and confusing them is what makes the conversation go wrong.

Layer one: maintenance. A calculation. Either agreed privately as a family-based arrangement, or worked out by the Child Maintenance Service using gross income, number of children and overnight stays. There's an official calculator on GOV.UK and the number is the number.

Layer two: everything else. Uniform, shoes, trips, clubs, kit, instruments, phones, childcare, birthday presents for parties at the other parent's end of town. No formula, no authority, no default. Just two people who have to agree.

Arguments that look like layer one are usually layer two. "They don't pay enough" often means "I paid £140 for the ski trip and heard nothing about it."

What works #

Agree a rule, not each item. A standing 50/50 split — or 60/40, or by category — settles ninety arguments in advance. Renegotiating every purchase settles none.

Approve before spending, above a threshold. Pick a number, say £40. Below it, just buy it. Above it, ask first. Most disputes are about being presented with a bill, not about the money.

Write the rule down in the plan. A split you both remember agreeing is worth far more than one you both half-remember.

Keep the receipts somewhere shared. Not to prove anything — so that "what did the shoes actually cost" has an answer.

How OurPath helps #

You agree a split — 50/50 by default, or per category — and it applies to every cost either of you logs. Costs can be proposed before they're spent, so approval happens before the money does. Receipts attach to the entry. A running balance shows who's ahead.

We never move money between you. OurPath keeps the ledger; you settle in your own bank.

General information, not financial or legal advice. We're not financial advisers. For your own maintenance calculation, use the GOV.UK calculator.